last night, we had a riding/bbq/campfire session at our usual fort. it was nice having everyone around for the last time before fasting month starts. so, while helmi was away, getting more stuffs for the campfire. the guys decided to interrogate me about our upcoming wedding. it was all jokes and laughter and mainly just boys being boys teasing us. and suddenly, someone asked me: “what made you decide that you want to spend the rest of your life with helmi?” i was dumbfounded for a moment. these were the guys who have never once tried to have a serious conversation with me or anyone else, for that matter. who thinks life is one big cycle of never-ending fun. that’s when i realised that we have all grown up. even them, the boys i used to wait for, for them to end school so that we can go do one of our silly things. that’s also when i realised that everyone were very quiet, waiting for my answer. i couldn’t. i still refuse to accept that these were the very same boys that i watched growing up and now they are talking about settling down. finally, i said, “because i know i cannot be without him. he has been my life, is my life and will always be my life.” moment of silence, for a little bit longer. someone decides to break into a very horrible rendition of a wedding song. boys!